I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
