I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
