stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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