'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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