I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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