Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
