tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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