haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize