dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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