plz talk dirty to me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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