I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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