I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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