All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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