Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
