big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
