Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Someone came in the potted fern
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I did not marry a roomba.
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