So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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