physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
