I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
