She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
