sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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