I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
