I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
