Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
