did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh god it's open bar.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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