Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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