I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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