I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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