i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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