No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
