And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
