I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Randomize
