i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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