he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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