There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
