I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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