I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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