Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize