So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
