okay pat passed out under dana's car
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
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