i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
