oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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