Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
