I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
