We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize