I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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