What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
