i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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