sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
