TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
