Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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