I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
