it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
