i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
