fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
