He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
