haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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