i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
