i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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