actually, I'm a sock model
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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